Only one full day into 2010 and I have encountered the biggest mystery of my life so far: my Website. And it just may be the one that does me in.
Yes, I know that someone with a computer track record like mine has no business trying to even maintain a website let alone build one from scratch. And yet some spark of insanity possessed me a few days before the end of 2009 and I just had to do it.
“Sweetie,” I said to the hubby, who was sunk in an advanced stage of relaxation, “I want a website.”
To his credit he didn’t even look skeptical. “OK. What do you want to call it?”
I thought for a moment. “I would like to call it Simple Living.” Here it was, my proud entry into the wonderful world of website ownership! My dream come true! I wanted to be practical, though. “If you can’t get that, let’s just go with Living Simply.
Yep, those were my two choices. Not just my first two choices, mind, the ONLY two choices. Hah. That should have been my first clue.
A frustrating and glazed-eyed half hour later I was the not-so-proud owner of back2basicscentral.com. (Back 2 Basics Central? OMG. I sound like a 1970’s teenager again! “This is like, dull central. Let’s split.”)
But, surely my enthusiasm would come back as soon as a built the site, right? Of course it would. I was confident that by the end of 24 hours Back to Basics would be up and running! Now if only I could figure out what all those little icons meant.
Hubby eyeballed me. “I think you’ll be better off using Microsoft Frontpage. I think I have an old copy upstairs someplace.”
Mr. Frontpage Wizard, however, chose the very next day (New Year’s Eve) to have an emergency tooth extraction. Honestly, some people will do anything to avoid helping! Clearly, I was on my own.
So yesterday, on New Year’s Day, I waded in, blissfully unaware of the doom awaiting me. Mostly oblivious to the soft moans of discomfort coming from blanket-covered form of the hubby in the recliner next to me, I hit the ground crawling. And immediately hit a brick wall.
The cPanel (which I guess means control panel, although it could also mean CzechoslovakianPanel, which is the language I think it’s speaking to me) wanted me to direct my DNS to the host using my FTP unless I had a dedicated IP, in which case I didn’t have to point anything at anything. That sounded vaguely dirty, but I plowed on. And got nowhere. After a rousing game of Bubble Popp, I tried again. And found myself even more confused.
But wait! Don’t I have a dear friend who builds websites? Of course I do! And within minutes she had dragged herself away from beating me on Bubble Popp to gleefully point out that Linux servers are far better than Microsoft servers, that Frontpage has great extensions, and that she uses Dreamweaver. Really?
Silly me. I always thought that was a song.
In the meantime, I have already managed to screw it up so that I now have another WordPress blog parked on back2basicscentral.com. Oops.
It’s going to be a long year.
This is the page I got when I tried to upload my WordPress blog onto my WordPress website: http://www.tribbs.co.uk/end_of_the_internet.php
Today’s mystery: Why do we say “It’s all Greek to me,” when “It’s all html to me” would be so much more accurate?
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Mysteries of My Life 